


When Stars Align

by MiHnn



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-27
Updated: 2012-12-27
Packaged: 2017-11-22 15:05:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/611142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiHnn/pseuds/MiHnn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Stars Align

**Author's Note:**

> The _quotes_ are taken directly from the books. They are J. K. Rowling’s words, as told through the character Sirius Black. They are not mine.

The first night after the battle in the Department of Mysteries, he does not sleep. He lies there for a moment, hearing the deep breathing of his roommates while they sleep soundly, their eyes closed as if there had not been a battle mere hours before where someone they all knew died.

If one more person says that he shouldn’t feel guilty—that he shouldn’t feel responsible—Harry thinks that he might scream. 

Didn’t they get it? He was the reason why his godfather had entered into a trap at the Department of Mysteries. He was the reason why his father’s best friend fell through the veil. He was the reason why Sirius Black _died_!

No one understands the guilt he feels, or the loss so tangible that his chest compresses and burns. It’s painful, it’s raw, it _hurts_. No one understands that his hands are stained with blood. 

He is Harry Potter, after all, the Chosen One. His mistakes are forgiven.  


_”I’m not ready for this, Sirius.”  
“You have no choice.”_

  
It is two in the morning and his mind is far from peaceful.

He thinks of his godfather’s easy smile and wolfish grin. He remembers his shaggy hair and unruly mannerisms, the way he slurped his soup and made Molly Weasley wrinkle her nose in disgust. It used to make Harry laugh.

But too soon those memories are replaced with the look that crossed Sirius’ features seconds before he disappeared through the veil. For the rest of his life, Harry is convinced that he will remember the way his godfather had looked at him: eyes wide, lips parted and a sense like he had no care in the world.  


_"I would have died! I would have died rather than betray my friends, as we would have done for you!"_

  
Harry releases a low breath before he throws the covers off his body and dresses silently. His actions are slow, controlled, and his mind is a blank slate as he goes through the movements. Once he shrugs on a jacket to keep himself warm in the cold, he leaves Gryffindor Tower with soft steps. With a whispered mumble, he lights his wand.

He squints through the light his wand casts on the long halls while he silently goes through the motions. He just needs to move, that’s all. If he moves, maybe he can start thinking of other things rather than what had happened. If he moves, maybe he can stop this feeling in his gut that seems to want to eat him alive. 

Harry continues to walk until he comes across the large doors of the Great Hall.  


_"It's beautiful, isn't it? I'll never forget the first time I walked through those doors. It'll be nice to do it again as a free man."_

  
There is a building headache at the forefront of his temple as he walks. He hadn’t thought of going outside, but now that he is so close, he wants nothing more.

It is a well-known secret that no one is supposed to leave the castle after nightfall. It is a way to protect the students from the dangers outside. Dangers such as what he got Sirius into. Sighing, Harry decides to take a route he has never taken to reach the corner of the castle, which rests near the greenhouse. The doorway is one that is hidden behind a large portrait in the main hall, one that he can never use because of the constant movement around that area. 

The walk within the narrow passageway built of stone is a slow one. He walks through spider webs and ignores the scuttling of insects. But the minute he reaches the end of the tunnel he feels better. His chest expands slightly as he takes in the cool air. It is comforting, the slight breeze that whips through his hair. Harry immediately fancies a quick walk around the grounds. The moon is full tonight. 

“Hello, Harry.”

Harry pauses, his steps halting in surprise. 

She is dressed in a simple robe; one that looks like something she can wear to bed as she is lying down on the grass of a small slope. The angle of the earth is such that she can easily lie back as she looks at the moon, which makes her hair shine brightly against the darkness. Harry squints at her briefly, even though he recognised the voice from the moment she spoke.

“Luna. What are you doing here?”

Harry lets the light die from his wand before he makes his way towards her. He takes a seat beside her but doesn’t lie down. He can feel the wet grass as he starts to pull on the leaves. 

“Can’t sleep?”

“No,” she says softly as her eyes go back to the sky. “I can sleep fine.”

“Then, what are you doing here, Luna?”

“Nothing.” She shrugs lightly. 

If this were anyone else, Harry would have asked them what they were doing. But with Luna, he decides to hold his breath. 

Harry sighs as he shifts uncomfortably. He can’t help but wonder what she finds so fascinating, even though he doubts he can ever agree on the level of fascination it possesses. She was always like that, a little bit odd, but in the best possible way. He wishes constantly that he could forget life as it is and see things the way she does. Something mundane is amazing in her eyes, something fawned over is ignored easily. The way she views the world is a conundrum that he finds himself craving. He also wonders how she escaped the confines of the castle. 

Thinking once more on the Battle at the Department of Mysteries, Harry frowns. “I thought you were supposed to stay in the Hospital Wing.” 

Luna simply blinks at the moonlight, her chin twitching slightly so that the light hits her eyes. “Madam Pomfrey had to leave.”

Harry nods, knowing her meaning. No Pomfrey meant no warden. He knows that she is just as restless as him some nights. 

They sit in silence for a while, both busy in their own thoughts until Luna lets out a small sigh. 

“I think of her every day. And I know she thinks of me.”

Harry’s head snaps to the side as he turns to look at her. “Sorry?”

She doesn’t look at him, instead, she raises her hand and points to the dark sky. “Do you see the small star to the right, the one a little away from the cluster?” She drops her arm and smiles softly. “That’s her, you see. She comes out only at night. So I come here to speak with her and tell her how my day went.” She turns to look at him, her eyes sad. “She was sorry to hear about Sirius.”

Harry’s frown increases. “Who, Luna?” As if he is suddenly hit by a Hippogriff, Harry winces, already knowing the answer. “Your Mum?” 

“Yes. She says that a veil is better than a curse.”

His chest tightens when she turns her head up to look right back at the stars. He watches her for a moment, fascinated with how her eyes are wide and bordering on something that no one else, even Ron and Hermione, had given him hope for: acceptance and content. 

“Do you see her?” he asks suddenly, his voice sounding desperate even to his own ears. “Does she come to you when you talk to her?”

“Sometimes.” He sees her shrug in the corner of his eye. “But most of the time she listens.” She turns to look at him, her gaze curious. “Where’s Sirius?”

Harry feels his throat close up. It takes a while for him to speak, and Luna simply watches him as if he is not taking any time at all. “Sirius?” he asks breathlessly. The name hurts his throat as he says it, his chest feels the pressure of his lungs as he feels the need to roll up into a ball and cry. 

Luna nods before gesturing to the night sky. “Show him to me.” 

Getting her meaning, Harry looks up for a bit before he feels the pain in his neck. Sighing, he shifts down and leans back until his back hits the grass. He can feel the wetness of the plants soak through his hair. 

There is an uncountable number of stars in the sky, all of them blinking brightly within the darkness of the morning. The star representing Luna’s mother flickers softly to the side, as if it has its own rhythm compared to the rest. It seems right. It seems fitting. Harry starts studying all the other stars without really meaning to. 

Minutes pass by as they continue with their silent observation until Harry finally finds what he had been looking for. “There,” he says softly, before shifting closer to his friend. He points as best as he can to the general direction of the star he has his eye on. “It’s the one that seems to flash onto one side. Do you see it? It’s the one near the two stars that are close to each other.”

“Who are the two stars?” she asks. 

Harry pauses for a minute. “My parents.” 

He knows it is ridiculous to even consider that the people they had lost because stars, yet seeing two stars together, like what his parents were, and seeing a bright star beside it, glowing a different way the others did, Harry can’t help but feel better than he has been in quite a while. It is as if his parents and Sirius are finally safe. It is as if they are finally together. 

He points to a star within the cluster next to Luna’s mother’s star. “And that…” he says softly, “is Cedric.” 

Luna smiles. “I think Cedric will like that star.”

“Yeah…” Harry shakes his head at the topic of conversation. It’s mental. Ron would have easily called him mad. “He would.”

A moment passes before he feels Luna takes his hand in hers. Comforted, he threads his fingers among hers. 

“Don’t feel bad, Harry.”

With a frown marring his features, Harry turns towards her. She looks mildly optimistic, and he can’t help but think that she is going to tell him the same thing that everyone else had told him: it is not his fault. 

Luna looks at him seriously and says, “We all fall prey to Bingle Dongles at some point in our lives. Mother says that so long as you wash your hair the minute you go back, you won’t get sick.”

Harry blinks at her before he turns away and chokes back a laugh. “Thank you, Luna.” His voice is sincere as his lips split in a wide grin. “I’ll remember that.” 

Smiling proudly at herself, she looks back up the sky.

Harry thinks of everything that had happened, of all the people he is grateful for. He thinks of how Dumbledore will react if he finds out where Harry is. “We should go back.” 

“A bit later. I want to watch the sunrise.” 

“That sounds… brilliant, actually.”

“Harry?”

“Yes, Luna?”

“I’m sorry for your loss.” 

His chest tightens for a moment as he looks up at the stars he deems James and Lily Potter with the rogue star named Sirius Black. He squeezes her hand gently. “Thank you.”  


_"When all this is over we'll be a proper family. You'll see."_  



End file.
